Wrong - O - Scope

I woke up this morning with this odd conviction.

"I need to read my horoscope this morning," I thought.

I subscribed to www.Astrology.com 's daily horoscope. I have all the dail messages sent to me at work early in the morning and I set up a filter so that all those messages go into a special folder automatically.

The problem with this automatic kind of organization is that all my daily horoscopes pile up in the folder, unread until weeks later.

So this morning, for some reason, I felt that I absolutely had to read my horoscope and see if it were right and track it for a few days.

I got to my desk at 8:30 and waited for the horoscope to arrive. It didn't arrive until 9:30. I wasn't very busy, so it was one of those watching-the-copier-collate kind of mornings, hovering over my horoscope folder.

Here's what the horoscope said:

Today your life will cross paths with someone you

have not seen in a very long time who is still

burning a candle for you. Think about what you really want.

I mentally reviewed my exes and thought, nah, not going to hear from any of them. I thought about Ezra, the gentile boy with a Jewish name, whom I hadn't contacted in 5 years. I wondered if he even had a way of finding me.

I thought the horoscope was so impossibly provocative -- and so wrong, that I sent it to Lucy and asked her if there were any exes of hers that she would consider talking to.

She wrote back in a flash, "No, I spoke to all of them during Venus retrograde. They're all losers and I've already told all of them to fuck off."

We went to lunch and talked all about it. I agreed with her that Venus retrograde had already given us the final chapters for both of us this year.